PPAB wants all flights grounded

The People for Proper Attitude to Birds wants all US continental flights scheduled between November and February grounded. In a press release issued this morning, a spokesman for the group said this was the only way to ensure that Geese in migration are not affected in any way.

This extreme step was necessary days after a flock of geese died after striking a US passenger flight, the spokesman said. The exact number of deaths is not yet known; the group has recruited about 150 volunteers to validate their migratory observations to get a conclusive estimate. They are awaiting data from their personnel who monitor such migration 24 hours a day. No persons lost their lives, however.

The scientific branch of the PPAB has also swung into action, looking into special carbon nano-fibre suits, which can be put on gooslings, and will increase in size with them. These suits will offer Geese higher manoueverability in a shorter time, helping them avoid planes better, the PPAB was quoted from their website. All aircraft should be grounded atleast while these special suits are rolled out, the spokesman added.

The NTSB and FAA had no comment on this issue.

The PPAB is a very vocal pro-bird group which guard the lives of birds all over the country. Their most recent case was their demand for a special overpass in rural areas to allow for chickens to cross the road without drivers constantly asking them why they were crossing.

\This post has been labeled faux and is a fascination by the author of the overtly moronic demands made by real groups.